This may be a dangerous thing for me to say out loud... like sticking my head into a beehive as it is a very controversial topic.
First of all, every couple is entitled to make their own choices about when to start a family. Totally up to you as I have absolutely no place in your family. But I do want to represent my case to you as some food for thought.
EVERY YEAR YOU DELAY HAVING KIDS, IS ONE YEAR LESS YOU'LL KNOW THEM.
Let me explain.
My mom died last year. It sucks. My 3rd baby was only 4 weeks old and my mom never got to meet her. I felt sorry for myself. Rightly so. It sucks and it hurts. I see my baby every day and cannot believe that my mom, who so looked forward to her birth, was deprived of meeting her. And me, no daughter should have to raise a baby without her mother's help and wisdom.
But then one day someone asked me how my little brother was doing. He is 10 years my junior. My baby brother. And suddenly it hit me. I felt so ashamed. I was so wrapped up in my own hurt that I totally forgot about the hurt he is going through and how my being older puts me at an advantage.
He will never have Mom at his graduation ceremony (this happened 2 weeks ago and for me, it was one of the hardest 'firsts' seeing only him and dad in the photos). My mom was so proud of him. He was the smart kid. The one with distinctions. The one who studied actuarial sciences. She would've bragged all over the place.
- He will never introduce a girlfriend to her.
- She will not help him pick out an engagement ring.
- She will not sit on the front church bench when his bride walks down the aisle.
- She will not meet any of his children.
I had all that. Apart from my littlest, my mom was able to be a part of my other children's lives, even if it was only for a short while. I can even make the same argument with my own babies. My 2nd and 3rd children differ 4 years in age. What if I didn't wait that long? Maybe mom would've known her for a little while as well.
I know it is scary to take that first step in making the decision to start a family. Just know, it will totally be worth it. Literally, nothing compares to time spent with your babies.
I would like to conclude with a piece by Alex Cravens as I know a lot of people delay having kids due to the current state the world is in: Parents-
“Don’t feel sorry for or fear for your kids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be. God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they’re in. Their life wasn’t a coincidence or an accident. Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God.
Train them up in the authority of His Word.
Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control.
Empower them to know they can change the world.
Don’t teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it. Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God’s sovereign plan.
- He knew Daniel could handle the lion's den.
- He knew David could handle Goliath.
- He knew Esther could handle Haman.
- He knew Peter could handle persecution.
- He knows that your child can handle whatever challenges they face in their life. He created them specifically for it!
Don’t be scared for your children, but be honoured that God chose YOU to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime. Rise up to the challenge. Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers and Peters!
God isn’t scratching His head wondering what He’s going to do with this mess of a world.
He has an army He’s raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth.
Don’t let your fear steal the greatness God placed in them.
I know it’s hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this.”